XOXO, Mama

XOXO, Mama


The little baby that made us parents is ten years old today.

After we tucked him into bed last night, and finished hanging up his birthday decorations, I allowed it to sink in and feel the feelings. I had kept my mind busy with planning his birthday party, making sure we had his presents ready and wrapped, that he had a special sleepover planned with his friends…but when I allowed my mind to rest on the fact that he was turning ten, I couldn’t hold back the tears.

It’s not logical – the tears are purely from an emotional place.

If I think with logic, I understand that we are very lucky to have him at all. The fact that he has reached ten years old is something to be celebrated. He’s healthy! He’s happy. He not only excels in school, but he has a strong desire to do well – he doesn’t like to do things halfway. He has so many talents and things to share with the world that we are only just learning about. He’s brave. He’s handsome. He’s sensitive.

So why am I crying? I ask myself.

Maybe it’s the fact that double-digits signal what’s to come – the teen years can now be seen in the not so distant future.

One more year of elementary school remains. His feet are now only a half-size smaller than mine…and don’t get us started on his big toe – it looks like a man-foot. He’s almost outgrown Youth-sized cleats. If you too have a child getting older, maybe you know what I mean. Their feet go from little kid pudgy to stretched out long and lean. He started wearing deodorant on active days a few months ago. He gets pimples here and there.

But is he really that old? He also still likes sleeping with his stuffed animals (lovies, in our house).

But don’t you dare tell his friends! We’ve reached that “my mom is embarrassing” phase. That part makes me smile though – I don’t mind being embarrassing. I live for shouting “HI AVERY!” when he’s in a crowd.

I’ve turned into one of those older moms, who tell those with younger children, “watch out, it goes too fast.” When you are told those words, it’s hard to believe it. Especially when you’re up every two hours with a baby, slowly losing sleep and the shreds of sanity you have left. Or even when your child starts Kindergarten – it feels like they are so little still… they don’t even know how to read yet.

Throw in the addition of sports or other activities, growing your family with more children, homework in the evenings for your oldest, and the days start to tick by at lightning speed.

Before you know it, your baby is ten.

But it doesn’t have to be sad.

I feel like we’re getting to enjoy more of his personality now than when he was younger. We have more in common with him as his interests change into big kid things… it’s not about playing with blocks now, we can have a conversation about life. We can watch a Lakers game together and he knows what the refs are calling before it’s called. We get to watch him comfort his little sister and become her best friend.

I’ll say it again – we have more in common with him now.

How cool is that?? We get the pleasure of hanging out with him vs. only taking care of his needs like when he was little.

So yes, I’m taking time to feel the tug at my heart as I watch my baby grow up – it’s healthy. But him turning ten is something to be celebrated.

I love you, Avery.



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