The Last Halloween?

Dear Diary,

This is the first Halloween that our kids won’t trick-or-treat together at all. I didn’t see it coming.

And it’s hitting me like a ton of bricks.

I’m typing this with tears building up and spilling down my cheeks. I haven’t written in a long time, but these feelings needed a place to go…keeping them inside my head was getting too crowded. We live in a smaller neighborhood that has been ideal for trick-or-treating with our small kids. Our son was only three years old when we bought this house (and our daughter was a newborn). Flash forward to present time, and he is three months shy of turning THIRTEEN. There’s a bigger, more exciting, neighborhood that kids his age prefer to trick-or-treat in, and it’s on the other side of town. Last year, I hosted his friends for dinner, and they ran through our neighborhood, and then a friend took the group to the big, exciting neighborhood for Round II. Our daughter was out with her friend group at the same time, so we were all together for part of the night.

You know how sentimental I am; traditions are a big thing for me.

Well, our football practice schedule came out, and we have practice from 3:30-4:45pm on Halloween. Our son also has basketball practice from 2:15-3:45pm – he should probably go to part of that first before heading to football. His dad is the Assistant Coach for that team, so his day is also more hectic leading up to the evening. I don’t see how we can do it all. How can I get him to and from practice, make sure our house and daughter are ready for trick-or-treaters (they start ringing the doorbell before 6pm), have dinner ready to be served, and transport all the friends to and from our neighborhood? The mom that helped last year has other commitments this year. And I don’t want to miss our daughter and her friend group either. So here I sit…

Realizing that I can’t do it all.

They say you don’t realize when you’ve done something for the last time with your kids until it’s too late. I’ve read heartfelt posts about this bittersweet part of parenthood so many times. But it’s starting to hit close to home now.

Our kids are growing up. Seemingly at a slow pace. Until I blinked – no joke – and another year has passed. Our son will get dropped off earlier in that big, exciting neighborhood. I won’t see him trick-or-treating (although I can picture it in my head). And speaking of pictures, I may not get a picture of him and his sister together that night in costume. Something else that’s bothering me: he had wanted to trick-or-treat our neighborhood with his friends first too. But I can’t make it all happen logistically, or honestly, without being stressed to the max.

He’ll be almost fourteen next Halloween.

The big questions I’m asking myself: At what cost to my own sanity is it worth stretching and forcing the usual tradition to happen? Am I making this a bigger deal than it is? Hopefully there are other parents out there that can relate. Maybe someone can offer advice who has “been there, done that.”

Sincerely, A mama trying to make peace with her heart