I’m an overthinker…maybe you can relate?
I will replay a conversation, situation, or incident in my head over and over. I will obsess about how I could have handled it better, wonder what the other person(s) involved are thinking about me, and run through what I wish I would have said.
That’s exactly what I was doing last Thursday night.
Last week’s blog post shared a few things we’re currently doing to manage our money. Yes, those really are things that we try to do. The key word is “try.” It struck me after publishing it that my words sounded like we were now perfect at handling our money. It sounded like the four things we’re doing, we’re doing 100% of the time.
But we’re not perfect.
I still buy $15 sunglasses from Amazon after reading reviews that say they are “better than designer sunglasses.”
Side note: they aren’t better than designer sunglasses. But they are damn good for $15. I do that even though I said to invest in quality items over cheaply made items – and I do believe that buying fewer things so that you can buy quality things is the way to go.
There may come a time that we have a financed vehicle again. We will hold out on buying a new car for as long as possible, and we will strive to pay for it in cash. But we’re human, and we may end up financing part of it.
A line that has been haunting me from last week’s post: “If we can’t afford something, we don’t buy it. Period.”
I would rephrase that line. Or even delete it. My point was that we don’t go into debt to buy something anymore. What I wish I would have said is that if you need to pay interest on a sweater you just had to have, take a moment to ask yourself if you really need the sweater.
What really changed for us is our mindset on money. What I wish I would have said is that we’ve tried to resist the impulse to spend and force ourselves to be thoughtful about spending money (Brian is better than me at this).
Overthinking can lead to anxiety.
Critiquing yourself often means you have a negative loop in your mind – at least it does for me. Over the years though, I’ve learned that overthinking has some benefits: it means that I’m always searching for a way to do better next time or fix a mistake I made in the past.
If you realize that you offended someone with something you said, go to that person later and apologize. Say that you’ve been thinking about your interaction, and you wish you hadn’t said XYZ. You will be surprised how far that sincere apology will go. And you will do better next time.
If a project you completed wasn’t your best work, admit it. Admit it to yourself first, then your teammates and boss. And then try again; commit to your next project being better based on what you learned from your mistake.
I’ve seen that almost anything is fixable.
As a leader, that “everything is fixable” mantra kept me calm in stressful situations. I was able to think of solutions at times when others may have felt stuck. When you believe that everything is fixable, it means that you have a positive outlook.
The people around you will pick up on that positivity; they will follow your lead in trying a solution.
Does that mean that every solution you try will work? No. And you should be honest with yourself and those around you that it might not work. In fact, be sure to say that when you present the solution. But if it doesn’t work, you will learn from what you tried, and try another solution (say that, too).
You will keep going until it’s fixed.
Because everything is fixable.